Ep #104: You’ve Got This, Even When You Don’t

If you’re listening to this podcast, you’re likely somebody who already knows how to stay on course. You’re likely somebody who really values bringing their A-game. After all, don’t I talk a lot about cultivating that extraordinary way of being that makes those extraordinary results, the life of your dreams inevitable? The answer is yes, by the way. The answer is yes, I do always talk about that. That is one of the core philosophies of the Art School.

So, what I have to offer you today then may surprise you. Are there times where always needing to be on the top of your game, always needing to rise and shine and meet every challenge, needing to adhere to impeccable standards, needing to stay on course and stay on track no matter what, are there times when that actually not only costs you the game, but it costs you your biggest dream, not to mention the life you want to live on the way to creating it?

Yes, there are. So, listen in though, because I absolutely want for you – and I know it’s possible for each and every one of you listening – that you can cultivate and live from this extraordinary way of being. You can live an extraordinary life. You can create those results that are the results of your dreams and you can do so in a way that is life-affirming.

So, listen in as we discuss and resolve this seeming paradox; when can allowing yourself to, quote unquote get off track actually be the true way to your destiny?

You are listening to The Art School Podcast; a show for artists and creatives who want to become the next greatest version of themselves. Learn how to cultivate an extraordinary way of being and take the mystery out of making money, and the struggle out of making art. Here is your host, master certified life coach, artist, and former lawyer, Leah Badertscher.

Welcome to The Art School Podcast. Welcome to my new listeners. Welcome to my seasoned veterans and alumni. I am so glad, so grateful to have all of you joining in.

I also want to just take a moment and say thank you to everyone who has helped me grow the reach of this podcast organically. I am so moved by that, so grateful, and also those of you that take the time – I know there are so many things going on in your day. And so, the fact that you take the time to go to iTunes and leave a review, that really means a lot to me that you take the time out of your day to listen to this podcast. It means a lot to me. And going that extra mile, I really appreciate it.

And so, I want to share more of those reviews and give a shoutout to those in this community. So, Anne Cad left this review, gave it a five-star review, thank you Anne. She wrote, “Depth and wisdom. Every podcast has stunningly powerful pearls of wisdom to help find and feed our creative selves. I often have to stop what I am doing to listen closely, write down a thought, and let it ripple through my mind. Mind-blowing and life-changing.”

So, thank you so much, Anne Cad. And to all of you out there listening, I really hope this episode this week finds you well, finds you healthy. Although this 2020 continues to give everybody – most people I know – what feels like I kick in the pants, to say the least. And so, that’s why I decided to go with this episode this week, which was not what I had planned originally. But it seemed to be something necessary and in the air.

So, I’m veering off course and changing plans because I have a feeling that if many in my nearer in Art School community, if this is what’s been coming up for them, then it’s quite possible that a lot of you might benefit from this message as well.

Again, most of my audience, what I’ve noticed from those of you that I’ve had the change to interact with, either in the Art School, through free group coaching calls, those of you that have reached out to me, you are very conscientious, conscious, deliberate hardworking, well-intentioned creators. You’re really going for it.

And I love you all very much, and you’re often very hard on yourselves. And I totally get this because I have been there too and still am at times. And it’s an ongoing process, this process of learning to create powerfully, learning to cultivate this extraordinary way of being and learning that you can do that from a place of deep love and compassion and actually become stronger and more successful because of it.

So, here’s a little bit of a nuance because many of you have heard me talk about setting the commitment, making the decision about who you’re going to be and what you’re going to create no matter what.

So, here is an important nuance. You set that intention, you come from that place where you mean it deeply. You mean that this is who you’re going to be in this life and this is what you’re going to create and you are figuring this out. There are no other options, no matter what.

But I want to offer some clarification and some nuance. No matter what does not mean that you are always on all of the time. Extraordinary way of being, to me, does not mean you’re always bringing your best. You never have down days. You never are human. You never have failures. You never have rejections.

That kind of no matter what, that demands perfection, that demands excellence each and every day, that demands you be some kind of energizer bunny robot, that demands 100% adherence to impeccable standards all the time, must always be on you’re A-game, must always be up, up, up and knock it out of the park every single time and wow everyone including yourself every single day of your life and never be down. That is not what I’m talking about when I’m talking about no matter what.

I am not talking about a sort of almost bullying positivity or a violent positivity where you are, again, using your goals against yourself, your dreams against yourself instead of for yourself, where the no matter what becomes a prison sentence. It imprisons you. It constrains you. It feels constrictive. It feels like a burden.

The kind of no matter what, the kind of intention setting, the kind of declaring, the kind of decision-making, the kind of commitment that I’m talking about sets you free. It liberates you. It allows you to be human and extraordinary. It allows you to set an extraordinary dream, believe in it 100% and go for it and have some really bad days and even dark times.

It allows you to have the full human expansive experience when you make this commitment, this no matter what commitment, the kind I’m talking about. It’s not a burden. It sets you free.

So, the reason I shifted course for this week and wanted to offer this podcast now, I actually think it does follow up quite naturally from last week’s podcast, the conversation on surrender. Because when you surrender to what wants to happen through you, for you in this lifetime, that is a no matter what. That is, “This is my destiny. This is what I’m creating. This is who I’m meant to be and I’m giving up all other options. All other options except for that.”

Or, as David White said, “You’re giving up all of the worlds, except for that to which you belong.” You’re giving up anything that is to small for you and does not make you come alive. And sometimes, I think we can get distracted and mistake impeccable standards, staying the course, we can mistake our progress for the ultimate destination and the dream. And therefore, we forsake the greater dream and we forsake the process of living, trying to keep up, trying to maintain this crazy pace that somehow reassures us that we are on course.

And so, with everything going on in the world, all the events that are happening across the globe and in this country and other countries, it is a common conversation people seem to be having about experiencing overwhelm, experiencing burnout, thinking, you know, now is not the time to dream. When now, I think you need your dreams. Your visions are more important than ever.

And it’s also a good time to have a conversation about recalibrating how we go about creating them and how we treat ourselves in the process of creating them. So, I wanted to offer some things that will help you both in the near term, if you’re dealing with any kind of overwhelm or just going through a lot of adversity, pressure, stress. And I also think, even if you’re not, what I want to offer today is essential for any career or life that is creatively fulfilling, you know personally, holistically fulfilling, deep, rich, meaningful, successful, satisfying.

So, what I want to offer you first today is to play the long game. And this is very similar to what I’m talking about when I’m talking about making that creative commitment, that big decision where you decide what you’re creating and who you’re going to be, no matter what. And you make sure that you are the one defining who you are and what you are creating. And that no matter what means no matter what your process looks like day in, day out.

That means the score may go up and go down 1000 times a day for 1000 days. But you know what you’re all about, what you’re contributing, what you’re bringing what you’re building. At the end of the days, when it really matters, you have defined ahead of time, this is who I am and this is what my life is about and this is what I’m working towards and this is what I am building. It’s not about keeping score and keeping check every single day.

So, play the long game. Make a commitment. Stake your claim in the universe. And then you are liberated to have the entire human experience, the entire creative process along the way. There is a line from this country song Every Girl that Trisha Yearwood sings. And it goes, “You’ve got this, girl, so what if you don’t?” And that, to me, liberates you in order to be the creative powerhouse you need to be.

Because in order to be that creative powerhouse, like in it for the long game, over the long haul, like Dolly Parton iconic kind of creative powerhouse and success. Then you stake that claim and then you are allowed slow times. You are allowed crickets in response to work that you think is awesome and you don’t make it mean that your work’s not awesome. It means that eventually, people will be like, “Wow, if he had only gotten onboard back then.”

You’re allowed failures. In fact, you need them. An amazing contemporary painter, Ann Gale said, “You should invite failure into your process.” I want to do a complete episode on just that topic and exploring exactly what she meant. But for now, know failure goes on this list too of what you’re allowed once you play the long game.

You are allowed rejections. You are allowed complaints. You are allowed mistakes; lots of them. You are allowed disappointments. In fact, the more, the better. The more probably means the more you are being courageous and putting your authenticity, your truest work on the line.

You are allowed naps; long ones too, in the middle of the day even if that’s what you want. You are allowed bad days. You are allowed very bad days and you are allowed to have them and not make them mean that you are a bad person or that you’re not a good spiritual person or that you are not good at mindset work. You are allowed bad days and it doesn’t mean that you’ve gotten off track. Because we’ve said, you’ve declared that You’ve staked your claim. There is now no getting off track now that you’re liberated. So, the bad days no longer mean that you’re not going to make it to your goal. It just means you’re making it to your goal and you had some bad days along the way, along with all these other things.

There were naps along the way. There were disappointments. There were mistakes. There were complaints from people. There were people who didn’t understand you. There were rejections. There were failures. There were times when it seemed like nothing was happening, that you could tell at the time, there were crickets.

You are also allowed to show up as you; as you are right now. Not as you straining to be somehow better than you can actually possibly be in the moment. And you are allowed to feel awkward and uncomfortable as you allow yourself to experience these things and to get more comfortable with showing up at then less than your best, than showing up sometimes as less than you’re A-game. You are allowed to show up sometimes despite your best intentions as unprepared. Because you know that playing that long game, consistency counts. And whatever you can do to take that turtle step is better than nothing. And sometimes, truly, you check in with yourself and trust, there are times when sleeping and rest and a break is very important to your process and is the most productive thing.

And here, a little detour and give a shoutout to my wonderful piano teacher, Kristen Johansen Sullivan, who is a listener in this community. And who I also had the great fortune of growing up with. She was a year behind me in school and so smart, so gifted in so many areas. And we played sports together, were model UN nerds together. We were in bands together, though she’s like 10 times the musician that I ever was. Which is one of the reasons why, when I saw that she was offering virtual piano lessons, I was like, sign me up.

Because we grew up together, we played sports together, so we speak the same language. We had one of the same music teachers. And she’s also an Art School listener. So, we’re hitting all these buttons and I want to tell you, I’m going to apologize to Kristen, I was so ill-prepared for my lesson this last week and uncomfortable for me. But I didn’t want to cancel because it’s important to me that I stake out this time every week. And also, I want this part of my creative life to not have to be about performance.

I want it to be about learning and growth and I didn’t want to miss it because I love it. It is one of my favorite parts of the week. It feeds and nourishes me so much. So, it’s interesting to watch my mind want me to beat myself up for not having been more prepared this week and for, I don’t know, making Kristen uncomfortable because I was so bad this week.

I mean, it’s silly, but true. But those are the ways that we do limit ourselves and where something that was meant to be nourishing and fun for us, we can actually start to use against ourselves. So, tiny detour there and also shoutout to Kristen for one more thing. She gave me a remarkable gift in a recent lesson.

She had sent me some sheet music and I began to play one of the songs and she said, “Does that sound familiar?” And I was like, “Kind of.” And she’s like, “Well, do you listen to your own podcast?” And I was like, “Oh my god, you’re right, it’s the intro and outro piano music for my podcast.” How thoughtful is that? And then I had to confess, no, I don’t relisten. I don’t listen to the completed versions after the episode because the weeks go by so quickly. Maybe at some point I will. But right now, I’m kind of in, like, create and release, create and release mode.

But once she said that, I did recognize it and, again, was so deeply moved. So, just one more piece of evidence that I have the best listening audience on the planet. So, thank you for that, Kristen. And yes, thank you too for bearing with me through this week’s lesson.

So, I just wanted to share that as a small but very recent personal example of when we are committed in the long-term then allowing ourselves the freedom to be not only imperfect, but sometimes just plain bad along the way.

I had a rough week. I was not feeling well this week. I did not feel on top of my game at all this week. And there would have been a time in my life where then I would have still shown up for things, more out of social anxiety than anything else. But I would have been miserable on the inside.

Whereas this week, I kept all my commitments, but I could just feel that for whatever reason, I was just not on top of my game. And rather than what I would have done in the past, which is feeling like I need to apologize for my existence if I’m not on top of my game all the time, I just reminded myself of what my greater purpose is, why I do what I do, and what I’m building in the long run. Also the importance of consistency and also reminding myself that it is these times of allowing ourselves to offer what we have to offer, to create whatever, at whatever level, whatever degree of quality we are currently capable of, that that is where the power is. That that is truly the only way to achieve true deep growth. The kind of satisfying, fulfilling, authentic growth that happens from the inside out.

I don’t want my life to be about the superficial, about the perfunctory. I don’t want to help clients who just want to get some success quick at whatever cost, but meanwhile, they’re burned up and fried inside because I know you can have so much better. You can have it all. You can build success from the inside out. You can feel extraordinary on the inside, even when you’re feeling crappy, even when you just had a crappy performance, you can still be proud of yourself and the work that you’re doing.

I don’t want the false improvement, where you’re creating a lot of external success but you feel unchanged and empty on the inside. And again, I don’t want perfunctory performance or living or creating for myself or for my clients. Not perfunctory, I want the profound.

And that comes from the inside out and I do know that one of the only ways there is to allow yourself this whole range of experience, is to allow yourself. Again, you are allowed to have failure, rejection, complaints, mistakes, disappointments, naps, bad days. You’re allowed to show up as you are. You are allowed to be lazy sometimes. You’re allowed to slack off other times.

In fact, you might play around with that and come to discover that it becomes like a secret weapon, a very powerful part of your creative process. You might discover through doing future self-work that your future self has a lot more, quote unquote unproductive lazy days built in. which you might come to find are very different, that they’re actually days when you’re just being and loving being.

I remember one time, I went to a retreat outside of Ashville and I was so excited to go on a big hike and explore these beautiful grounds. I went a few days earlier to a hotel and beautiful resort in the mountains there. And I got there though and I parked myself outside of this big beautiful window and my beautiful hotel room and I ordered a pot of tea and I did not move for five hours. I just stared out at the trees and at the mountains and I felt like we were having a beautiful conversation.

My brain was like “Shouldn’t you be journaling? Shouldn’t you be recording a podcast? Shouldn’t you be going for a run or a hike?” And I just sat until it kind of ran out of steam. And I think of that day a lot. It felt profoundly healing. It did feel like a conversation with the mountains. I felt things inside of me were rearranging so that I could start to understand myself and process in life in new and deep and richer ways.

So, this brings me to the part of the podcast where I want you to do more than just listen. I want you to lean in, really work with me, coach with me. So this week, I have two suggestions for you, two possible assignments that I think will help you create that long-term success, create that dream no matter what. But do it in a way that is liberating, that allows you to relax into your innate power, rather than try to force and grit and hustle your way through life.

So, the first is again to set that long-term intention, that commitment to what you are creating no matter what and to trust that when that intention is set, and it’s one that’s sacred to you, to trust that it’s being fulfilled, no matter what, no matter the bad days, no matter the days when you are not as productive as you like, no matter the weeks, the quarters, the 2020 that doesn’t go as you like, that you’re still on course in the most important of ways.

Second, buddy up. Don’t do this alone. The burden becomes exponentially lighter when you can find kindreds who are willing to do this process with you. So, maybe you find a friend and you have a ceremony that you do together. You create these intentions and decide, acknowledge to each other that this is what’s happening. And now you’re going to enjoy the enfoldment of your evolution and your process and you’re going to walk yourself together on this journey and be there for the highs and the lows, both of you in on this secret though that you know, because you’ve decided where you ultimately end up. So then, you can relax, girl, because you’ve got this, even when you don’t.

You can do this in a buddy system. You can also do this with a group. So, this is the space that I have created with the Art School. You don’t need to do it in the Art School. Do I think that the Art School is a phenomenal place to do it? Yes. And I also know that you will find your people, if you set that intention. But get with at least one other, or get in a group.

Because this is a phenomenon where the baseline is high. And the arc is long, and it bends towards your collective rise. But it’s not always on you. And you can feel that. You can feel that collective momentum and rise and it mitigates the stress and pressure of feeling like you’ve always go to be on every single day. You can somehow relax and you can really feel that you’re riding on this collective, like, magic carpet that’s going up and taking you where you want to go. But it’s not always on you, sort of like a flock of geese. You’re not always at the lead, at the point.

Sometimes, you get to draft. But you can feel this collective energy of the group because it’s a powerful collective intention that we are all rising, that the destination is extraordinary, the journey is as well, as are each and every member of that group. And no one, no one gets left behind.

Thank you for listening to another episode of The Art School Podcast. If you’ve enjoyed this podcast, if these episodes have been useful for you, if for instance they’ve helped you to have better bad days, if they’ve helped you know that yes, in this life, you are going to create that dream no matter what, then the best thing to do to pay it back is to pay it forward, is to share, is to subscribe, and is to go to iTunes and leave a review.

Of course, you do not have to do this. I will continue to produce this for free as long as I can into the foreseeable future. I just greatly appreciate it when you do. Also, when you are ready to take this work deeper, the Art School is the perfect way to do that. Just now, as I was recording this, I received a message from one of my current Art Schoolers and she is also in the Art School Mastermind, Marci. I was wishing her a happy birthday. Today is her birthday. Happy birthday, Marci. You didn’t know that you were going to get that on this podcast. And also congratulating her on all the amazing work and accomplishments.

She has been on fire from the beginning of this mastermind and just throughout tearing it up. And she wrote this back, “Thank you, Leah. To say this experience has been life-changing is an understatement. I am an Art School lifer from here on out…” with some lovely heart emojis.

So, thank you, Marci, for those incredible words. And also the incredibly contribution of your presence in the Art School and the mastermind. It really is a community of extraordinary individuals and therefore is so much greater than just what my own contribution is.

Someone else in the Art School was saying this week, during a call, that she is just experiencing things and feeling feelings that she has never before felt in her life. And very good things, very expansive things. That gives me life.

And another member who’s also a member of the mastermind was saying this week that she has been in every single Art School and mastermind and she said, and she will always be in them for as long as I do them for the rest of her life. Because at each point, there’s a new level and a new layer to learn something new and that the learning is deeper and richer and because she’s at a different place and just grows and comes into her own power in new ways and therefore sees things with new eyes each time.

So, in the month of November, we will be opening enrolment for the next session of Art School at the early bird tier. And we will also be accepting applications for the next round of the mastermind. So, the best way to stay informed about that is to make sure you are subscribed to my newsletter, which you can do at www.leahcb.com and you can also follow along with me on Instagram. I am @leahcb1 on Instagram and I would love to connect with you there as well.

So, to close today, I have one more coach with me type question, really something for you to contemplate going into your weekend and into this coming week and this new month of November. And that is if you really were 100% committed and know that you’ve set your intention and now there is no way that it’s not being fulfilled, it is being fulfilled no matter what, and you could relax deeply into the trust, trusting that, deeply knowing that with every cell in your body, every fiber in your being, you know that that is what you were for in this life, if you could go to that place, what would change in your creative process?

What would change in your daily life? Because I’m sure you’ve heard the Annie Dillard quote, “The way we live our days is the way we live our life.” So, what would change for you if you could relax into knowing that you are on this path, that you are unshakable, even on the days when you’re quite shaken an you’re quite tired or even exhausted, what would happen? What would change in your process? And what feels scary and what, actually if you considered it, could make you stronger?

Have a beautiful week, everyone. And I look forward to talking with you next time.