Ep #123: Why Me?

Are you disqualifying yourself from your big dream? Are you denying yourself the experience of living life as somebody who wakes up every day and lives right inside that dream, who knows that they belong there?

If you are listening to this kind of podcast, chances are that there is a next level out there in the world with your name on it, and a next level in your own heart, mind, imagination, and creativity with your name on it.

And if you think that you may be holding back from who you really are or holding back from what you’re able to accomplish, if you’ve answered yes to either of those questions, you’re disqualifying yourself from your dream, you’re denying yourself the experience of being somebody who is the equal who is able to create that dream, then listen to this episode because I have a third question for you that will help you stop discounting yourself and instead allow a force to move and awaken within you and also allow the wind that wants to be at your back, allow all of these things that are conspiring to elevate you, to elevate all areas of your life and help you arrive at that next level.

You are listening to The Art School Podcast; a show for artists and creatives who want to become the next greatest version of themselves. Learn how to cultivate an extraordinary way of being and take the mystery out of making money, and the struggle out of making art. Here is your host, master certified life coach, artist, and former lawyer, Leah Badertscher.

Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Art School Podcast. Oh my goodness, is it beautiful today. I wish I could just teleport you into my studio. The windows are open. I have the patio doors open, the screen open to just let in the fresh air. And the sun is shining.

What I would most love to be able to do today is to go on a walk with you, or a run. I was thinking the other day of all the quote unquote simple pleasures in life. That is one of my greatest; being able to go for walks and talks with people or run and walk.

We did that last year at the Miraval retreat where I did one-on-ones with all of the participants and we did them by going out for a hike around the trails. And it’s just such a wonderful way to be in nature and be with another person. And I love doing that with my friends. I love walking with clients.

And my brother actually – you’ve heard me say how much I love running, my brother Andy told me that he is looking for a marathon to run this summer. And I love running with my siblings. And Andy and I have always loved working out together. And so, I tore my ACL a few years ago and so running has not – running marathons anyway – has really not been the easiest thing for me since then.

And I’m thinking, “Well, what would I need to do to get my knee into shape?” Because that sounds so amazing right now, to do a marathon with Andy this summer, I’m like, “What would it take?” So, I’m like, with the powers of my mind, healing my knee, because I don’t know, that sounds like the most fun. And thinking of virtually training for it with him, especially after this last year, being at a running event, running with so many other people, and then Andy in particular. Oh my gosh.

So, I’m like, “You know what? I’m going to tell my podcast community and ask them…” here is my woo on full display, please bombard my left knee – heck, both my knees while you’re at it – with massive amounts of love so I can selfishly run a marathon with my brother this summer.

Anyway, I got a little bit off topic. I did want to put that ask out there because, hey, why not? And then, if I do get to go, then I will take you all with me and I will do a special podcast, marathon podcast on the road. But again, I thought, “Gosh, I wish I could take my listeners for a walk and talk.”

And one of my favorite ways to go for walks, like meditative walks, is to take one particular question or one particular intention and, throughout the course of the walk, to see if I can touch a new place within my mind, if I can arrive at new ideas, if I can shift my energy around it, if I can experience something new or come at it from a different level.

There is something about walking and then also letting my imagination go that allows my mind to be both expansive and ordered. And it seems like new things come in that surprise even me, or I have this sense of there is something I almost know, an understanding where I feel like I’ve pushed something that maybe feels limiting to me or I’m not sure about yet or I don’t have the clarity that I sense is available.

But I think it’s interesting that I sense a clarity and answer is available. So, if that’s one of those places where I’m like, “Something’s going on here. There feels like a tension that has a resolution available around the other side,” I will take that sort of thing for a walk.

So, this last weekend, I was thinking of all of you and thinking of the Astro Teller quote I shared about how people play a game of not-it when it comes to big thinking. And thinking about the who-am-I questions that I posed to all of you. And thinking about that phrase that we’ve heard and I have shared as well on the podcast of, “Why not me?”

I mean, I even had a painting entitled, Hey There, Fabulous, Why Not Me? Maybe you’ve heard me talk about that too. And I love that question. And I just felt though that there was something more available, like a further place to go, something waiting to click into place.

So, I took that for a walk. I took for a walk this idea that we play the game of not-it when it comes to the big thinking and the big dreams and big ideas. And I was looking at myself as I went for this walk too, like where am I still doing that? Where do I do that? And what’s going on there? Feeling around first for the energy of it, and then looking around at the thoughts too.

I was thinking about my clients and this wonderful honor and privilege I have of being able to witness and observe and hold a space for the times when they disqualify themselves from their big dreams and their big goals and how, from the outside looking in, it’s so clear that they should not deny themselves the experience of being that person who, of course, creates that in their life, who of course has everything within them to make that vision a reality.

And so, I was thinking about this and thinking, what more is there that I can offer my clients and offer myself, offer listeners to help shift this? And as I was thinking about the why not me, I was like, “Oh, how about instead, why me? Why me?” And then, so much came flooding back to me, it was really the shift from the feeling of when we hold our possibilities, our goals, our dreams at arm’s length, either not by going for them or by making things so much harder.

This is another way we disqualify ourselves from our goals and dreams, or deny ourselves the experience of being a creative force of nature, denying ourselves the opportunity to be a genius in this lifetime.

And when I asked myself, “Why me?” all this energy came back, gigantic woosh. And I felt it so viscerally at first. So, I wanted to pose that question for you here today, and then also share with you a short clip where I talked about this experience just this week with my mastermind group, because it came up there again too in response to a brilliant question that one of my masterminders asked.

And I thought, “Oh, I think I want to include this too,” because maybe you’ll hear something in the way I describe it in my response in that group that will also be helpful to you.

So, this is an episode right here where it brings me to the coach with me. And I want you to take this episode – it’s a shorter one, but take it for a long, long walk. Take it until you feel a movement and a shift within yourself. Allow yourself an abundant structure of time and space, to really arrive at a new feeling of, “Why me?” And answer that question.

Feel the energetic affirmation and then also go through the litany of reasons why you. And so, right here, this brings to me to the part of the podcast where I want you to do more than just listen. I want you to really lean in and work with me, coach with me.

And today, go for a walk and talk with me. Maybe listen to this and then turn it off and think, “Why me? That goal or dream, why me? Why is this touching upon my heart and soul out of thousands of years in this lifetime. Why is this what occurs to me? And don’t I want to give myself the opportunity to really go for it? And what does that look like? And what does that feel like?

And again, let yourself walk and talk with me and think about it, turn this recording off, think about it again some more, come back to it. And then, I would love to hear from you. Let me know, what have you been disqualifying yourself from? Even if you say you want it, but energetically you’ve disqualified I as being a possibility for you?

So, even if you’re like, “Okay, yes, this is my goal,” on the inside you’re like, “Actually, yeah, I know I’m not going to do that this year again, or this week,” there’s some sort of energetic disconnect where you say it’s what you want, but you can feel the energetic disqualification or denial of the experience of being somebody who actually creates that and experiences life as that creative force of nature, as that level, that next level heart and mind and being capable of reaching that next level heart and mind out in the world.

I would love to hear, what have you been disqualifying yourself from, denying yourself, and why you? What is shifting within you that is going to move you into that realm of claiming it, claiming that next level, claiming who you have always been meant to be.

So, here and now is that clip from my conversation in the mastermind. I hope you enjoy that on your walk as well, and I’ll see you on the other side.

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You’re reminding yourself of your choice in any given moment. You’re reminding yourself of choice in any given moment, and that takes on a momentum of self-trust and self-efficacy, and it also starts to help dissolve any of those subconscious barriers where you may be holding possibility at arm’s length. Because subconsciously, maybe you’re like, “I would say that I wanted that, but subconsciously, I don’t really want that because I don’t want the old pressure. I don’t want the old feelings that come with that.”

But when you’re really like, “Actually, I handle things well, even the hard things. Actually, I can see how I’ve grown. I can see how I handle things well. And even when I slip back into old ways, I can see how I use that. And I’m like, “Oh, that was a great lesson. That was really a rubber meets the road lesson,” which is kind of what I’m trying to do with this accelerating of time. I accelerate all the lessons that are available in the creative process.

Because it’s just one thing to say, “Well I’m going to create something and I’m going to have it be a lovely experience.” And everyone thinks that sounds so airy-fairy. It’s hard to do that when you’re conditioned that creating something and tortured angst and feelings of self – we’re just so conditioned to think that for us commoners, it’s got to be that way.

But like this morning, I said, “The choice is available. I won’t tell you to make it, but the choice is available.” Are you a channel for creative genius? Are you a creative genius? What do you believe about your potential for success? What do you believe about your potential for creative genius?

And making those first choices and being like, “No, what am I really going to choose?” Because I was thinking this weekend too about the close for the last podcast. I was talking about that – I mentioned GoogleX and Astro Teller saying, “A lot of people, when it comes to big thinking, start to play the game of not-it…” big thinking is for other people, and I’m not it. I’m not the other people to do the big thinking.

And so, a question which I like is, “Why not?” Why not you? And I was walking with that this weekend for a long time. I’m like, “I think there’s something else there.” I’m like, “Oh…” the next question that really feels to me like this creates some movement is the question, “Why me?” Why not me is still like we’re considering it, like, “It could be possible it could be me.”

But when you really go to, “Oh wait, if the idea is choosing me, why me? Why me? Why me?” And then, both answer that question and then also open your heart and open your mind and open your spirit to receive the answers to that question. And you will feel a rush of energy come into all of those centers. “Why me? Why me?”

And even just saying that over and over, “Why me?” even if you don’t hear anything, I bet you will feel movement in your heart and your mind and your spirit. You will be receiving some sort of energetic affirmation or energy will be coming back to you that you have kept out here.

But when you say, “Why me?” you are finally like, “Oh yeah, me. And why? Let me know why.” Let that dialogue happen, that dialogue between you and you, you and your spirit, you and Creativity with a capital C, let that dialogue happen.

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Thank you for listening to another episode of The Art School Podcast. I am so grateful for all of you listening, and I am so grateful when you take the time and send a note. I read all of those. When you leave a review, I read all of those. And that certainly helps me reach more people with this work and this message. And I really appreciate it too when you share.

That means so much to me on many levels, including I know when I find something that has been meaningful to me and then I share it with a friend or a colleague or an ally, it just is really surreal to think other people are doing that with my work.

So, I want you to know how much I appreciate that, and to ask if you would like to pay it forward. The best thing you can do is to share, it’s to subscribe, it’s to go to iTunes and leave a review. And again, I always love hearing from you.

When you want to take this work more deeply, when you want to find out how to take these ideas and move beyond being a consumer of information, but really have help and individualized help, applying them to your life and getting traction and creating that transformation, then we would love to have you join us in the Art School.

We have already begun our winter spring session and we will have more opportunities to work with me in the future. So, if you are interested in learning more about how to work with me and about the Art School, please go to my website, www.leahcb.com and also please send us an email, support@leahcb.com. And if you’d like to talk to a real amazing human being about what my work is like, what it entails, and what is available, you can also schedule a no-pressure exploratory call by emailing support@leahcb.com with “exploratory call” in the subject line.

As always, we love to hear from you and it’s always so awesome when we come full-circle and meet with someone who has been listening to the podcast for a while and then they’re on one of our free workshop calls, which happen every month, which is another great reason to be in our newsletter, or when they enroll in the Art School and then I get to work with them one on one as a client and introduce them to the community and to the methodology and to the work.

So, I look forward to meeting so many more of you in the future, and hopefully even at a retreat where we can walk and talk in real life. That would be pretty amazing.

To close today, I really want to create this spacious abundant place in your mind and leave it with a clear focus, that same question again, why me? Why me?

Because here’s what I know. One idea, one question can absolutely change the trajectory of your entire life. And this kind of question is one of those questions. When you stop disqualifying yourself and denying yourself from your dreams, from self-definition, from a very expansive incredible declaration of who you are and who you are becoming and what your life is going to be about, everything changes.

Absolutely everything in your life will change when you take yourself seriously enough. And when I say that, what I want you to know I really mean is when you love yourself enough to be like, “Hey, I’m going to take this question seriously. This dream I have, why me?” And then stay in conversation with your heart, your soul, your mind, your maker, a higher intelligence, Creativity with a capital C, stay in that conversation until you feel so moved you feel that solid sacred ground beneath your feet, and again, that creative force moving within you and at your back.

Have a beautiful week, everyone. I will be walking, running, and thinking of you all this weekend and what I will be bringing you in the upcoming weeks. I’ve got some great plans, both for the podcast, the Art School, which has been amazing by the way. I wish you all were in it. This is just the best corner of the universe and one of the best things I could be doing with my life right now, and I am so in love with these people and looking for the time when, again, I can meet more of you and work with more of you in person as well.

So, off to go for a run in the sunshine. I hope you all have a beautiful week and I will look forward to talking with you next time.